If you’re one of the many people who voted for Donald Trump on the promise of cheaper eggs, I have some bad news for you. On closer examination of the issues driving global inflation and the precipitous rise in grocery prices, president-elect Trump has decided that, despite his repeated promises to lower prices, solving this particular issue would be very hard.
Trump would love to lower grocery costs so you and your family don’t have to live in a state of perpetual food insecurity, but he already promised to put tariffs on everything that moves and apparently — due to the immutable laws of science and basic mathematics — those two goals are completely incompatible.
If you are still intent on cheap eggs, the president-elect encourages you to take some initiative and start raising your own chickens. A modest investment of poultry-related startup capital is all it takes to soon be enjoying your own farm fresh eggs.
If the space requirements of building your own coop prove to be too much, perhaps you should take up foraging. A quick visual scan of your immediate surroundings will likely yield several trees. According to science, this is where birds live. A cheap pair of binoculars and a sturdy step ladder, safety first, will have you well on the way to the low cost omelet of your dreams. The president wishes you happy hunting and advises that you avoid blue jay nests as they can be quite territorial.
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