Editor’s note: The person mentioned in this story has asked to remain anonymous and is using the alias Jenny. Trigger warning: This opinion piece includes brief mentions of substance misuse and statistics surrounding it.
The holiday season is typically a time for togetherness, gratitude and love. But the holidays can also cause stress, chaos and depression, especially for those who struggle with substance misuse or mental health issues. A 2023 study by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism said 9.8 million young adults from 18 to 25 years old were binge-drinking in the prior month.
As president of the Collegiate Recovery Community at The College of New Jersey, I’ve seen firsthand how the holidays can be particularly challenging for young people in recovery. One student in our program, Jenny, has been navigating her recovery journey for over a year and identifies as “sober,” which reflects her personal recovery pathway of abstinence — one of the many pathways of recovery. Jenny has tips to share with students heading home for the holidays, no matter where they are in their recovery journey.
- Know who your people are. Make a holiday support system — some might be different from those you turn to in your daily life — and reach out to them when you’re struggling. Jenny has her important people pinned in her text messages. One key person she turns to when she’s overwhelmed or triggered is her partner, and she also relies on her friends at TCNJ who understand that she struggles at this time of year.
- Make safe space for yourself. There can be a lot of controlled substances at parties throughout the holidays, including New Year’s Eve, and her friends have adjusted to how they celebrate so she can participate and feel comfortable. This is important for other students I know who are on a recovery path. When her friends are planning a party that they know will have substances, they let Jenny know long in advance, ask her if it’s OK and understand if she chooses not to go. They make sure that there’s a substance-free room so Jenny has a safe and comfortable place to be, and that some get-togethers are substance-free all together.
- Set boundaries. Even when you’re able to create a safe environment in your daily life, going home for the holidays can bring back triggers, including people you may not have seen in a long time. You also may find yourself being asked to take part in activities that you find threatening. This is where you use all the tips at your disposal to stand your ground and do what’s right for you. Sticking with “your” people is important — if you lose some friends, that’s OK. You may gain some as well. The real friends who are going to support you and help you on your recovery journey are the ones who will listen to you and respect your boundaries.
- Create your own holiday traditions. Traditions are a big part of most families’ holidays, but many of them can threaten sobriety and mental wellness. Jenny has created a new tradition focused on the outdoors: She goes on a hike with her partner, has dinner, then relaxes with her family that evening. She can schedule these on a regular basis or turn to them when she feels overwhelmed in her home environment and needs to get out.
- Stay grounded. Staying grounded and calm is key to making it through a holiday event, but it’s sometimes easier said than done. Jenny has learned to rely on techniques like using fidget and sensory toys to center herself. She recommends practicing stepping away from holiday overload, reevaluating, grounding yourself, and then going back to the situation if you’re up for it. Mindfulness is also extremely helpful. She says if she needs a break, she steps outside and notices things like the ground under her feet or how the air feels on her face. It makes a difference.
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Going into the holidays without a plan to stay on the recovery path you choose — whether it’s partial or full sobriety — can be frightening. Developing one now can help take away the anxiety and enable you to enjoy this time of year.
Myara Gomez is president of the Collegiate Recovery Community, a student-led organization at The College of New Jersey. She is a senior at the college and plans to graduate in 2025 with a B.A. in journalism.
